No, not really. Wal*Mart smells like cabbage and crayons. But holy carp! It's hedging into that wonderful, glorious time of year! That time when snow begins to fall along with the temperature, Honey Baked Hams begin to fly off the shelves in miles of traffic jams mitigated by off-duty cops, and Macy’s resets their thermostats to 96-degrees. Mistletoe, holly, other shrubbery, and candy canes. Yep, time for Thanks giving! So check out the Secrets section for your question of the month, and just so we are all on the same page, click past the jump for the REAL history of Thanksgiving!

Once upon a time, there were three little elven turkeys. The year, was 1491. And they were partying like it was 1499! The fall was coming to a close as the first flakeletts of snow danced down from the heavens and junked up their front yard. The eldest of the mythical elvish turkeys spake unto his two minions. “From when did thine this did indeed powdery white substance fall upon from on high?” The two other elvis turkeys stared at each other in disbelief. “Um….Karl? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Twas once upon I done this then did think to beseech thineself—“ Karl was quickly interrupted by Steve.
“Seriously, what the hell are you saying? You sound like a moron.”
“Okay, then I’m just trying to find out where this white crap came from.” Said Karl.
“Why didn’t you just say that then?”
“Say what?”
“What you just said.” Quipped Steve.
“Because I thought it would be cool to sound like—“
“Well it’s not…You sound like a moron. And, it’s snow, idiot.”

Steve was clearly in a very bitter mood from the afternoon prior. For it was a waning bleak day yesterday, that Steve discovered the poor fate of his Uncle Ken. (Bwaahahahaha!!!) Little did Karl know, that he too would soon be stuffed for the local tradition of Thanks Be to The Giving Festival of Lights.

“So, what are we going to be doing for the festival?” asked Petey, who until this moment had stayed quiet and in the background.
“I’m not sure.” Said Karl. “Maybe go watch the fireworks, and then I was thinking perhaps----“
Right then a giant meteor fell from the sky, wiped them all out, and that’s where Thanksgiving comes from.

Forever and ever, Amen.

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Petey  - Who ME?   |66.213.123.xxx |2008-11-23 15:29:48 Hey Miked, Was Karl in Canada? I was just wondering if it was the big Canadian meteor that hit him?  http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081121/sc_nm/us_meteo rhttp://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081121/sc_nm/us_me... Do you have anymore prophecies?

miked  - HOLY CARP!   |SAdministrator |2008-11-23 23:48:44 That is exactly correct! Karl was out there visiting his friends from "Facts of Life" and lo-and-behold, the unyielding fury of that meteor reigned down upon them a firey demise that hasn't been seen since that one time Steve made deep-fried pancakes in the turdunken machine. Oh the laughs we had. I remember that this one time, we were all.....wait.....what?

uncle ken   |12.71.235.xxx |2008-12-03 07:22:38 i'm back. bwaahahahaha!!!

miked  - GO AWAY!   |SAdministrator |2008-12-04 09:32:12 Oh dear God. Please go away! You are scaring all the children. And making them cry. And wish they couldn't see the internets. WHY? WWHHYY?????

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